Between Us

“Hurt happens in relation to others and so does healing”

In relational psychodynamic therapy, what is happening between patient and therapist can be part of the therapy. You might be encouraged at times to talk about how you feel about therapy, the therapist or the dynamic between the two of you. You might explore with your therapist patterns playing out between the two of you and others in your life. This type of therapy can offer a unique relationship, one in which you can get direct feedback about how you might be perceived or received by others.

There are so many possibilities that can come from this and ways in which to practice new ways of being with others and self. It can mean noticing tendencies to push others away or to pull them closer and why. It can mean practicing ways to get your needs met either less aggressively or more assertively. It can mean gaining more insight into patterns of always putting others first or people pleasing as well as the opportunity to interrupt them in real time. It also provides a safe space to practice having difficult conversations.

Yes, it's true, you might not fully know your therapist. They might not self disclosure much, often or at all about their personal lives. However, in relational psychodynamic therapy, they could disclose, when it is helpful, how they are experiencing the dynamic between the two of you. Of course, in order for this to work and feel safe, a relationship has to be built first. Often, hurt happens in relation to others and so does healing, which is what can make relational psychodynamic therapy so powerful.